Thought for the Day, 21 April 2010 Rabbi Lionel Blue Jewish jokes about gay people have become so much kinder in my lifetime. Two women meet: "How's your son?" said the first. "Fine," replied the other; "he's a specialist with rooms in Harley Street. And how's your son?" "He's a homosexual," said the second. "So where's his office?" replied the first. I appreciate the new openness because I've been a gay religious bureaucrat for forty years and it hasn't been easy. My partner and I have lived together faithfully for over twenty five years and it mostly don't seem a decade too much. This morning I just want to add some overlooked aspects of our lives. For example. There's been much discussion about straight children adopted by gay parents. There may be different views on this, but at least such things are talked about in the open now. My situation wasn't exactly comparable, being the gay youngster of straight parents, but it was in an overwhelmingly straight society when aspects of homosexuality were still illegal. I still remember the burden of furtiveness, the fear of blackmail that destroyed steady relationships. Many young people had breakdowns. Some tried suicide. I tried myself. One cleric threw me out. Another told me to go abroad. But young people now, thank God, get a better reception - though in some countries life imprisonment and execution might be returning, as in grim Hitler-Stalin days. So why bother about religion? Because though religion has a lot to learn about sex and gender, it taught me a lot about spiritual love and that sex isn't the purpose of our life on earth. Also, gay people have their own spiritual needs. I needed a lot of God to transform friends into a family and a house into a home and spirituality and laughter helped. Other problems come with age. Which care homes would accept our derby-and-derby situation? Is there room for us at the inn? Would civil partnership be easier for the survivor? We don't want to be excluded from each other's funerals, as often happened. The first step forward is simple but needs god given courage. The sharing of each other's life experience and truth, whether gay or straight, in the presence of God without dismissive putdowns or passing the buck. Humour would help a lot. Two ancients sit in their car, holding hands and gazing sleepily at the sea. "We ought to get civilly partnered, you know," said one slowly, "But who would want us now?" moaned the other despairingly. God would! He enjoys his oddballs and their healing laughter.

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